The Inner Critic Perspective #3: Phoebe Chin

A Reflection Through Colours and Words

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Your doubt sounds a lot like my mother

 

And when I feel her words –

Our mouth shaping the criticism

That slaps across my cheek

I weep,

Her words stain the folds of me.

As I carry her in me,

Those words ring full:

 

“You’ll never,

You aren’t,

You must,

You should.”

 

Scarcity breeds and blooms

In her words

 

How to unravel

Years of my mother’s fear?

How do I begin?

It feels like washing blood

Out of fabric

 

I begin:

 

Offering myself

Kindness,

 

Teaching myself

Abundance,

 

Recounting to myself

Safety,

 

Allowing myself

Pleasure

 

And soaking my loss in rest

______

PHOEBE CHIN is an art therapist and multi-disciplinary artist who is looking to specialize in end-of-life care in Toronto. Her life and work are heavily influenced by her navigating intergenerational trauma, intersections of faith and queer identity, and living with mental illness. Facilitating creative spaces brings her deep joy. You can find her musings and figuring out how to take better care of herself on Instagram, and past writing on her blog.

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